SNAPPING OUT

It's been a while since I last updated my blogs. I guess you could say I was burned out. Many things have happened over the past weeks that my brain just went on overdrive and I crashed after. I didn't even get to write anything for my mom's birthday. I just needed time to get myself together. Physically I am fine but emotionally I felt a disconnect to everybody else. All I wanted to do was just crawl into myself and just wallow in sadness, self pity, depression or whatever you may want to call it. That has always been my way of handling things, I keep it all to myself. Before anybody goes on brain overdrive my marriage is A-OK, lol

Last night I decided to talk to my husband about it. I wanted to say I was sorry for being so distant, moody and just irritable lately. Like the good and understanding husband that he is, he comforted me and wanted to know if it was anything he did. I am lucky to have a good husband, he is not perfect but so am I. Everyday is a work in progress for me, taking baby steps at a time. Am I back to blogging? For certain, I realized that at times sitting down and writing about everything seems to help. I have pulled myself in bad situation and I can certainly pull myself out again.

BATTLE FO THE PESSIMIST AND OPTIMIST

It looks like my trip to the Philippines is really pushing through. I will finally be at ease when we purchase the tickets in the next couple of days. Honestly I am very thrilled and scared at the same time. The pessimist in me is just raring to sprout out like another head on my shoulder, trying to make me look, feel and think at all the bad things that may happen to stop our trip. I use to be an optimistic little girl until I grew up and realized that it was better for me emotionally not to expect anything good. It didn't hurt as much, the disappointments are not as crippling. It's a shield that I have learned to put up around myself. I feel like I have let down God, In a way, I am. I am robbing myself from believing and trusting in his plans. It's easier to be a pessimist than an optimist. I have to learn to cut that impending other head off my shoulders and just go with the flow. Looking at the bright side of life is what I really need to do more and more. Life is to short and beautiful..