Ailing Grandma

I have just received bad news from home (Philippines). It seems that my grandmother "Lola", is ailing. There is no denying that my grandma is getting old. She misses my grandfather who passed away a year ago. They were each others bestfriend. I was told by my mom that Lola is getting weaker, she has lost a lot of weight and nobody is really taking care of her. You see, my grandma was the most caring, kind, generous and thoughtful person when she was still healthy. Now, she is becoming a shell of her former self. In my mind I can't seem to process my grief. I know in my heart I'm devastated by the news but I feel numb. I am in denial, I refuse to believe it. Therefor,I don't talk about it. I can't do that to my grandma. How I wish I could go home and take care of her before she passes away. My taking care of her will not even begin to pay for everything she has given me and my family. I miss her, I want to talk to her. I am a coward, I'm to afraid of my emotions. I miss her. If and when I do get a chance to see her again, I will beg for her forgiveness because I have forgotten her. I need to do my part in helping her out. If I cannot be there physically at least I can try and help monetarily. It won't be much but it is from the heart. I will be totally crushed if something happens to her. Not yet, I am not ready to loose her. Please Lord, watch over her.

Not enough quality sleep

It's been 2 weeks since the girls have been sleeping by themselves and I am back in the masters bedroom. My husband and I did not have a falling out, I just prefer to sleep with my kids than with him. I sleep better knowing that I am in the same room with them and they sleep better knowing I'm with them. My family loves co- sleeping, if my husband didn't work we would all be sleeping in the masters bedroom.

It was a hard decision for me not to sleep with my kids, specially the youngest. For 5 years I have been sleeping with her. I have to get use to sleeping with my husband all over again and his the same way. Being a light sleeper I am constantly woken up by my husbands twitching, tossing and turning. Haven't gotten any quality sleep since I moved back in. On the other hand, my kids are sleeping in their own room by themselves now. I am so proud of them. I still miss sleeping with my youngest. Did I do the right thing? When they reach puberty I am positive they will no longer want to sleep or snuggle with me anymore,I hope that won't be the case. I don't regret co sleeping with my babies and I would do it all over again.

Not a good start

My husband is not having a good day so far. He got little sleep last night, he was always up and restless. I was lucky I didn't get hit while he was tossing and turning in bed,lol. He is not feeling well, might be getting the early stages of the flu. Hopefully it's just a cold and not the flu. When he got to work someone back into the front of our Jeep.it was just minimal damage with Theron lights cracked and the front bumper paint chipped. The important thing is, he was not hurt.

I feel so bad for my husband. He is a good provider and thinks about us all the time. I feel guilty being a stay at home mom sometimes, specially on those days he is so tired. The next school year I hope to be working and driving as well,lol. Two income should lighten the load that my husband is carrying right now. If things go as we plan we should be breathing easy by the end of this new year.

TURKEY AFTERMATH

I am so exhausted. My cousins family just left last night before 12 midnight. They were going to stay one more night but decided against it. Her husband wanted to be on the road so that they won't hit to much traffic. They had a long drive ahead of them going to Chicago. I hated seeing them go but in a way I gave a sigh of relief. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to get rid of them but I wanted to rest, lol. The few days that they spent with us was great. My cousin and I had so much fun, we connected in a different way this time. I guess its because we are both mom and marred. We talked about a lot of things ranging from our kids, our husband, our childhood and most of all our couponing, lol. Yes, my cousin was ecstatic to find out I was already couponing. She is more of a newbie than me so I taught her some of the things I learn along the way. It was a great few days and I can't wait to have them here again. Now, I just need a few days to recharge my batteries. I don't feel like blogging at all. All I want to do is go to sleep for a week and not do any chores! How was your Thanksgiving?

SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME

A few more to go and its going to be Thanksgiving. Its our turn this year to host the Thanksgiving dinner at our house. Its going to be a loooooooong few days for me. I have so much to do but with very little time. I won't be online much as I have to clean, organized, go food shopping and cook before Thanksgiving. This is going to be extra special for me this year. Why? My cousin and her family from Chicago are driving down. She is also picking up her parents and sister is New York. Its going to be a full house. My kids are already very excited to see their cousins. I feel so overwhelmed and stressed. I just want things to be perfect, but perfection is to much to ask, lol. I am really looking forward to having my side of the family again. The last time they were here was 3 years ago also for Thanksgiving. I just hope my family will have a great time!

GRANDPA ON ALL SOULS DAY

This post is for my Grandpa who died last July,2011. He was the rock in the family. A man who was not afraid of honest hard work. A man who dedicated his life taking care of his family. Lolo instilled good values in me. I miss him so much and until now, I still can't grasp the enormity that he is gone. I know he is with our creator but deep inside I have not fully accepted it. As we were driving into the development yesterday when all of a sudden I felt like crying. Missing him so much is painfully. Crying was my outlet when I found out about his death a few months ago. So much tears was shed for him but it wasn't enough. It will probably hit me hard when I go home and visit my grandparents house. The thought that he won't be eating with us, laughing with us and sharing stories with us. I miss you so much Lo, it hurts. But I know you are looking down on us. At least I have a lot of memories to remember you by. I will miss you forever!

CELEBRATION FOR TWO

Today two important people shared not only a special relationship afforded by a father and daughter but they both share the same birthday. To this day I still can't believe that our youngest was born on her daddy's birthday. Both of them will never forget each others birthday. The only person missing in this photo is our oldest Kayla. She was at her moms for the weekend. It would have been extra special has she been there to celebrate with her dad and younger sister.

To my husband and daughter, Happy Birthday and I hope that Ralph had a good time even though he didn't get anything. Like I always say to him every year on his birthday and special holidays " Kaitlyn is my gift to you for the next 18 years!"..... And to my princess bruiser, I hope you had a blast on your special day!

NO SHOW

I was right! My cousin and her family didn't show up. I am not upset or anything but I was hoping for a call from her to let me know if they were coming or not. Good thing I called my Aunt and was told that they did visit her in NY but they had a very tight schedule and had to leave. Oh well, there is always a next time. Now that October visit is out I wonder if a November visit would happen. Possibly on Thanksgiving? We haven't even decided yet where to have this years Thanksgiving. Will we be hosting this year or will it be at Angelo's house. I have got to ask who is hosting so plans can be made and I can do my Thanksgiving shopping properly. October is almost coming to an end and preparation need to be done. Will you be hosting this years Thanksgiving?

REST IN PEACE "LOLO"

This post is dedicated to my late Grandfather ILDEFONSO O. MAGALASANG.

I thought Tuesday was just going to be any ordinary day, wrong! After hosting the 4th of July BBQ we had a very lazy day. Woke up really really late, had lunch, in the pool and hanging out with the hubby. Little did I know that my world was going to turned upside down. It was after 8 p.m. that I got two calls my aunt and cousin in Chicago. My aunt left a message so I listen to that first. I was shaking when I heard the voice mail. I was afraid that something had happened to my mom or my grandpa. I hurriedly called my aunt while I was in the kitchen. She answered with such a sad voice. I knew right then that I was bad.

She started crying and finally uttered the most devastating news I had to hear "Lod, your " lolo" passed away this morning"(Lolo is what we call our grandpa in my country) I couldn't say anything. I just sobbed my heart out on the phone crying with my aunt. I just kept on crying and crying. This is the first time ever I have experience this kind of loss. It was gut wrenching and so deep that you wonder if it will ever heal. I cried for my grandpa, for my grandma, I cried for everybody's loss. But most of all I cried because I was not able to say goodbye. No one had a chance to say goodbye to him. My heart goes out to my grandma who was not able to say she loved him one last time. They were each others best friend and lovers for 61 long years.

To my Grandpa "lolo" Thank you so much for all that you have done, your sacrifices, and lessons will forever be etched in our hearts. I want to say so much but my heart is just so broken. I miss you so much....

Until we see each other again "lolo", I will be forever proud to have been your granddaughter. We love you and will live for your memories and celebrate your life...

MY COUSIN AND I

Last May15, 2011 I got to see my cousin again. The last time we saw each other was 3 years ago on Thanksgiving day. I missed her so much and its a blessing that we keep in touch via phone. I was so thrilled when she told me she was going to be in Delaware to get her certification for Zumba. She wanted to see me even for a couple of hours. When I found out she was coming I made her Adobao and cooked her some dried fish (dangit). She was getting her certification at the Boys and Girls Club which was only 15 min away from the house. I was so excited to see her that I told her that we were picking her up. She didn't recognize me right away when she came out, lol. We talked non-stop when she in got in the car until we got home. She doesn't have a lot of filipino friends in NY so she doesn't get to enjoy Filipino food that much. We had a blast talking and eating at the same time. Even though she only got to stay for a couple of hours we had fun. Before she got picked up by her friends, I got a chance to give her the rest of the Filipino dish I made. I made her promise to come back in the summer for at least a couple of days so she can hang out with us and just relax. I'm glad I got to see and talk to her, I missed her.. Thanks again Manang Sigred for dropping by..

A GRANDDAUGHTERS GIFT

One of the person that left a great impact in my life is my grandma. Growing up we fought like cats and dogs, I hated her with a passion. Everything I did was all wrong or I would do things wrong just to annoy her. My mom was torn between me and my grandma, me as her daughter and my grandma as her mother. I don't know when I started understanding my grandma. I think it was when I was in college and would spent summer in our hometown. We got so close and I really understand and love her now more than ever. That is why when I saw the news about an Omaha couple who chose to have their wedding at a nursing home so her grandmother could see her walk down the aisle really touched me. It was indeed a granddaughters gift to grandma, one that she really values. I would do the same thing for my grandma in a heartbeat. She is the glue that holds our whole family together. She is strong but compassionate, her words may sting but with reason behind it, she is one of a kind. I miss her so much and I was so glad to see her when I went home last July, 2010. It will be another 3 years before I can go home again but she will be in my heart forever.


pietrantoni

HIS BROTHERS

There I was again hanging out with my two handsome BIL's. From left-right is Larry who is the middle child, me and of course Angelo the oldest brother. The first BIL that I met almost 4 years ago was Angelo. I must admit I was scared about meeting him, but it was four naught. He is such a kind soul that reminded me of my sister so much. As for Larry it was a different story. I was scared out of my pants about meeting him. He seemed so quite and more reserved. I eventually warmed up to him completely when I was about 7 months pregnant. I was craving so much for Dunkin Donuts, we stopped at one and he bought me donuts. I also wanted munchkins and he got me a whole box. From then on, I knew that he had accepted me into his family. He may not be around much but I know he things of us and is always good to my girls. This photo was taken last month at Angelo's sons wedding. We were all so full from the good food and was just having a good time talking and catching up. I love my brother-in-laws and I hope they love me to,lol

SAY UNCLE

Kaitlyn doesn't get to see her Uncle that much speciallly the one on the left Larry. She gets so scared at first but eventually warmed up to her uncles. This little girl can twirl both her uncles on her little finger with ease. I just had to take a quick shot of Kaitlyn with her two uncle's before the wedding went underway. I put Kaitlyn on her Uncle Larry's lap and just had to hold her Uncle Angelo's hand since she didn't really warm up yet to her other Uncle. She looks so sweet and adorable here. Kayla on the other hand was way to busy playing with her daddy's phone that she didn't want to be bothered with pictures. Both her Uncle's adore Kaitlyn. Even though Kaitlyn doesn't get to see Larry as much as Angelo she still talk about him. So when she finally warmed up to him, I told her to tell her Uncle Larry what she wanted for her Birthday. She started talking a mile a dozen, babbling away about the dancing Dora doll she saw at the store. She is growing up so fast and acts way to mature for her age. I love you bunches langga!

GOOFY SMILES

Hanging out with my kids outside while waiting for Andrew Juniors 1st birthday party. This was taken last Aug 14, somewhere in New Jersey. It was the second weekend of the month so we got Kayla, to bad Ralph had to go to work. We took one car going there with my BIL Angelo driving. We arrived there about 12 noon and boy were we starving. Party wasn't going to start anytime soon and my kids had to eat. I couldn't just give them potato chips for lunch, so even though the party didn't start I went and got potato salad for the kids to munch on. While waiting for the other guest to arrive we sat down on the swing and had fun taking pictures with my new phone. The kids were goofing around so much that the pictures really came out good. It was a nice day to have a party but most of all I had a great time hanging out with my two beautiful princesses. They looked so beautiful in their respective dresses.

BONDED WITH LOVE

Grandma or Mima as Kaitlyn would fondly call her. How did my MIL eventually end up being called that? Kaitlyn has always been a talkative child, that even at an early age she knew the difference between me and grandma. She didnt know how to pronounce Grandma so she made up her own language that is far easier for her to speak. Well as much as I would like to say my child is not the only one to do that, most kids will develop their own language as they grow up.

It cannot be denied that the sun and moon rise and fall on Kaitlyn when it comes to her Mima. I never thought my MIL would get so attached and bonded to her but she has. She is very close to her, it's also because she was always there from the time of conception until I had Kaitlyn. She was in the room when she came out of me and she cried, we all cried when she was born. Kaitlyn is very spoiled when it comes to her MIMA, I swear if my MIL was rich she would have a toy everyday. It is apparent when they are together how much Kaitlyn loves my MIL, how I wish she was this close to my mom. She does know her maternal grandmother but she is so far away, that is why I have made it a point to try and let them talk online so she will recognize my mom. Our trip to the Philippines last month was a blessing, they got to see her and my family got to meet my first born. I don't know if its true but they said a grandparents love is different from a parents love. Sure you were a parent before but they said there is just something magical about being able to hold, see and play with your grandchild. I just hope that my MIL and my Mama will see Kaitlyn grow up to be a young lady, someone they will be proud of....

ICY WATERS

What a long trip that was from Philadelphia to Cebu. Before our impending trip coming hope I dreaded the long flight specially since we were traveling with Kaitlyn and I know how she is when she gets bored. Thankfully she was an angel considering what a long flight it was. The most brutal leg of the trip was from Atlanta to Korea which was 13 1/2 hours. Lucky for Kaitlyn she gets to sleep lying down since she is small but unfortunate for both my MIL and I. At least we were sitting all together, we didn't have to disturb anybody when we had to stand up to go to the bathroom. See the picture on the right, that is a think a frozen river or lake or sea. If I'm not mistaken I took that while we flew over Canada or Russia. I thought it was clouds but when I took a closer look it was ice. Kaitlyn thought it was snowing out and wanted to play, lol. We really didn't get to see a lot of scenery while up in the sky since the windows have to be pulled down. Considering how long the flight was, we are just grateful that we arrive here in Cebu safe and sound.

MAMA 2

At long last my one and only sister Mitzi "chay" finally got to hold her first niece in her arms. She was so surprised to finally see Kaitlyn in person, can't believe she has such a small face. I could tell that the bond was automatic and she just loves her little niece. Mama 2 is what Kaitlyn calls my sister and was just talking away when we got in the car. It was like she knew my sister all along and no hesitation on her part. On the other hand my sister could not get over how small Kaitlyn's face was in person. It was so surreal watching the two of them together, my oldest sister and my daughter. My sister is good with people but she is specially great with kids. When my sister leaves at night to go home to her boarding house coz she has school the next day, Kaitlyn gives her a big hug and kiss. She looks for her Mama 2 as soon as she wakes up and constantly asks for her. As soon as my sister walks through the door she greets her with a big smile and a hug saying" you're home, I missed you". It makes my sister's day.

LIL ANDRE AND GRANDMA

Little Andre with my MIL his great grandma. They came down last week so spend the weekend with us since we will be leaving for our vacation very soon. We won't be seeing them for quite some time. He will be turning a year old this coming August 13 if I am not mistaken. Andrew is such a sweet little boy and just play and smiles a lot. It amazes me that they just put him in the crib and he will sleep on his own. Kaitlyn never did that, my fault. He is already pulling himself up and standing on his own but is still hesitant on taking that first step. Kaitlyn was exactly 10 months old when she took her first step and by 10 1/2 she was already walking and wobbling along. Kids do develop at their own pace and when they are ready they will do for it. He loves the pool though but that day was just to breezy for him. All the same we want to thank Andrew's family for coming down to spend the weekend with us.

DOUBLE A'S

That is Andrew and his son Andrew Jr., its the little guys first time to be in the pool. The water is only 72 degrees but with the weather at around 87 it was perfect to be in the pool. He loved the pool but did not like the little float I got for him. He cried out so much so we decided to put him in the other baby floater that is made out of mesh. I forgot to take pictures of him in it, I was in the pool already. Water was so refreshing, if you get cold all you have to do is stay under the sun and the chill will be gone in a flash. He had so much fun kicking his leg under the water and just kept on smiling. Hopefully next year when they come down for the Summer he will be able to wear Kaitlyn's old life vest so he can just swim around to his hearts content without anybody holding on to him.

RIDE BEHIND THE LEADER

Anyone want to go on a hay ride? It's not really a hay ride but more of a lawn mower ride, lol. That was taken last week when Ralph was getting the yard ready to be cut the next day. He had to pick up the little twigs and branches that fell of the tree. He hooked up the trailer behind the lawnmower so he could put the little twigs and branches in it. The kids looked like they were getting bored so he told the kids to climb aboard for a lawnmower ride. Let me tell you the kids were all excited and just laughed and giggled. From L-R are Joey, Kelly, Kaitlyn and Kayla. Ralph drove around the backyard entertaining the kids. My husband is such a great dad and would go to any lengths to make anything fun for his kids.