END AND RETURN

The past few days have been really rough for me. I can honestly say that It really hasn't sink in yet that my Grandfather passed away. This is the first time that I have really lost someone close to me. I cannot fathom the amount of grief my grandmother is experiencing right this minute. Everyday must seem like an eternity for her without her soul mate, husband and best friend of 61 yrs. My heart aches that I cannot go home and attend my grandfathers funeral in a couple of days. I will keep on missing him, his memories will be kept alive so stories will be passed on for more generations to come.

On the other hand, Ralph is going back to work on Friday. He has been resting a lot in preparation for a rough 12 hour shift. One thing that is bothering Ralph is the thought of not fitting his police uniform. A few days before he got cleared to go back to work he said he was going to take diet pills if he won't fit his uniform. But I encouraged him instead to just lessen his portion and stop drinking soda. He seems to be doing good for the meantime but the real test will be the day he puts on his uniform. I am crossing my fingers and toes that it will still fit him. If worse comes to worse maybe this will be his wake up call to stop drinking soda and indulging on midnight cooking snacks.

WHO WILL SHED FIRST?

Its already May and I have yet to start getting in shape. Summer is fast approaching and by no means am I ready to wear a bikini when our pool is going to be opened. I haven't even bought new short. To me it was useless buying one when my thighs still look flabby and full of cellulite. Sure, I have tried going on a diet but I could not stick to it. There is a very valid reason why I was afraid to go on a strict diet and exercise daily. If it wasn't for the reason I would have already gotten hold of hydroxycut to help loose some weight and get rid of excess fat. I also wanted to wait until my husband was more mobile and more energetic before we start on our promise to start eating healthy and exercising. We even talked about buying a bicycle so we can take our kids to a big park and just ride our bike. Once it steadily gets warm we plan on taking walks. Ralph is even commissioning his nephew to come down and help us get our elliptical upstairs in the spare bedroom. Once we get everything situated we made a pact to motivate each other into getting in shape. Who will start loosing the excess fat? Me or my husband?

DO YOU FEEL THE PRESSURE?

Whatever happened to our perception of beauty? Some say that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". If that is the case why do we put so much stress on what size we are. Weight is a major issue when the topic of conversation is beauty. In society today, slender and skinny women are considered beautiful and stunning. What about the full figured and heavy set women? Women kill themselves over trying to be beautiful in the wrong sense. They go on crazy diets, go one all natural diet pills,take weight loss pills, fat burners and go on fanatic exercise marathon. Some develop eating disorders due to to much pressure. Women are pressured to look beautiful and slimmer. Who is at fault here? Society or ourselves? I do care about how I look. I have good days, okey days and very bad days.

TO HARD TO RESIST

Doesn't it feel good when people tell you that your not as big as you think? Most of the time people get surprised when I say I am fat. Like today at the bus stop I said something to Kaitlyn not to touch my belly fat and all of the parents that were there said " what fat? we only wish we were as small as you?". With those words it made me feel that I should not worry about how I look so much. I promised that I was going to start my strict diet and exercise this month but its all out of the window. Food is just not something I can deny myself, food runs through my veins. With that said I am really looking into trying any fat burning products in the market. I know that a lot of fat burners are out there like the apidexin, I still have to do my research if it is the right one for me. I should try taking some fat burners soon before my upcoming trip.