BIG FAMILY

Growing up I always dreamed about having my own family but never thought it would become a reality. Good things happen for those who wait. In a span of 4 years, I found my mate, got married, and gotten pregnant. I grew up with a lot of family but I only had 1 sister. My mom always told us that if she would have liked more than 2 children. If my mom had not had hysterectomy and had no complications with her reproductive organs, I'm sure I would have had brothers or sisters. My mom has not been physically the same since she had hysterectomy. Makes me wonder if she should take some progesterone supplement. But with that it makes me question the progesterone side effect. I have read that taking progesterone can help with anxiety, ones mood and memory. I want to find out more and see if I can also benefit from taking progesterone and the only way I can do that is to ask either my OB or our family physician. Ralph and I are currently on a mission but I will not talk or say anything about it as of now.

AFTER TURKEY DAY

The day after Thanksgiving was a day I don't want a repeat of. My BIL came down and decided to surprise us with a visit. I had not eaten anything the whole morning and decided to eat about 6 pieces of clementines. After about 30 minutes I was nauseous and had stomach pain. I thought it was just hyper acidity and took some tums. That did not help at all, by late afternoon I was in so much pain. The pain I felt was from my lower abdomen that went through my lower back and down to the back of my thigh. I could barely stand straight let alone walk. I spent the whole afternoon drifting in and out of sleep on the couch. Kaitlyn got so worried about me and would keep asking how I was feeling. Thankfully my MIL kept a watch on Kaitlyn in her room. By 7 p.m I just had about enough and brought Kaitlyn with me up in bed. I just laid down in bed and tried not to move so I would be pain free, turned on the t.v for Kaitlyn and just told her to lay down with me. I must have drifted off coz the next think I knew Ralph was calling me. To my surprise Kaitlyn was already fast asleep beside me. The next day was a little bit better but I still felt pain but at least it wasn't as bad. By Monday I called the doctor first thing in the morning and got an appointment the very same day. As for the result, I'll write about that some other time. I still need to find out more.

SIZE 4

Have you guys been to Ross Dress For Less? It is such and awesome store with great buys. I was there with the kids a couple of days ago. I had to be on a look out for a nice dress for a wedding we are going. This is the second wedding in two months. Browsing through racks and racks of clothes can be fun and frustrating at the same time. Some dresses that I really liked were either to small or to big for me. When it was time for me to try on the stack of clothes I picked out I realized something. I am no longer a size 2 but a size 4, that is an eye opener for me. I know that some women would kill to be a size 4 but I am only 5 ft tall. If I gain to much weight I'm going to end up looking like a pumpkin. I could barely look myself in the mirror when I was taking off my clothes. Luckily, we are in the age of computers and getting information and help online is so easy. There are websites like www.weightlosssupplement-s.com that is loaded with so much information. We just need to know where and what to look for. I have not really put my any real efforts about trying to loose weight. It is going to be hard but If I don't get any results, that website is to be the one I will first look up on the Web.

MISSING THE CLOSENESS

August and September has been a busy and stressful month for me. We went to a birthday party, had Kayla's birthday and attended a wedding last Saturday. I am so glad that it is over but there is yet more to come. Next month were attending another wedding, a birthday party and of course Kaitlyn's 3rd and Ralph's 41st birthday. I am going to be so broke, but hey money can always be earned. Any how while at Ralph's nieces wedding I saw such a gorgeous little baby. She was so tiny, reminded me so much of Kaitlyn when she was a baby. I wanted to hold that baby so bad and just smell her. I had to hold back the urge to ask the mom which happens to be a relative or Ralph's if I could hold her sweet baby, I know she wouldn't mind one bit. Seeing her breast feed her baby got me teary eyed. How I wish I could have breastfed my baby longer than 6 months. I was kicking myself for not searching online about how to increase breast milk production. Maybe If I had, I would have been able to breastfed her longer. One of the factor that caused my milk to dry up was the fact that Kaitlyn was already eating baby food by 3 months and by 6 months she was already eating solid foods. I only had to breastfeed her when she takes naps and at night. I missed that closeness, the feeling of having her on my breast and knowing I am the one providing her nourishment. If ever I get pregnant again I will make sure to increase my milk production.

NO CAN DO

Coming back home for a visit is amazing. A lot of things have changed, everything looks the same but different. The weather is just crazy hot. It feels like your are in an oven and that every air in your body is being sucked out from you. I miss my home country but I have also learned to love my adopted country, America. The perks of coming back home is the joy of enjoying the foods I have missed. Only a few days of eating and I feel like I have gained more than 10 pounds and its all in my stomach. If my sister can make delicious food from an hcg diet recipes then I will be in heaven.I am on a vacation so I will eat whatever I want and will just deal with the consequence after my trip,lol.

JUST WANT IT FIRM

What a hot week its gonna be.It's really time to break out the summer outfits and bathing suit. Wearing swimsuit can be nerve wracking specially if you have a lot of belly fat in excess. Most of my swimsuit are two piece, tankini and 2 monokini. The two piece makes me so self conscious with my belly flab hanging out. I only have a month to try and trim my tummy and loose a little bit of excess fat. One quick option would be to get my hands on a weight loss pill or fat burner. I should try to adipex and see if I can loose some weight with it. But before taking it I will have to read the adipex side effects to see if its going to interfere with my daily routine. Why can't we all just be happy with what we have? I just want a firmer tummy, I don't need abs, just a semi-flat belly. Is that to much to ask?

TUMMY FLAB

Thank God the kids will be inside, no swimming today. It has been so hot that today was actually cool and nice. I don't have to wear my bathing suit top and expose my flabby belly. I really have to work on firming up my stomach so I won't feel to self conscious about my body. I just need motivation to get on the elliptical and stationery bike in the house to start loosing weight. I need some other fitness equipment that targets my stomach and not just my legs, thigh and cardio. Fitness equipments are expensive but if you get refurbished fitness equipment it will same you a lot of money. What I need is something that can help me do crunches and sit ups easy without straining my neck and lower back. I just have to convince Ralph to get me one and actually use it and not just let it sit and collect dust in the basement. One more month and I am off for a vacation. Do you think I still have time to firm up my tummy?

WORKED FOR ME

Food has always been my passion. If you put food beside a cute dress, cellphone or anything else I would make a bee line for the food right away. Its a no brainer picking the food. I just get a whole sense of fulfillment when I take that first bite, followed by more. I grew up skinny as a twig, I ate like a horse but I was still a bean pole. They could not understand why I was so skinny. It eventually caught up on me when I matured. Those times that I was gaining weight I thought I looked more fuller and curvier. Thoughts of taking fat burning product never crossed my mind. Back then all I had to do was cut down on one thing, my rice intake. The first time I cut down on my rice I lost weight in less than a month. My cousin was so shocked to see how much I lost and how fast I did it. I didn't have to be hungry but I did have to stay away from the table as soon as I was done eating so to avoid temptation. Have to tried cutting down on a certain food you like?

BIG "A" AND HIS LATE CELEBRATION

Spending time with family is always fun and never dull. The man in the picture is my dear BIL Angelo, he had a belated birthday celebration last Saturday. All his kids were there and he was back to his old lovable self with his grandson making him smile. The candle is the cake is a big "?" because his daughter forgot how old he was, lol. I was happy to see that Angelo was back to his old smiling and jolly self. He has been depressed lately and misses his kids a lot. So It was really refreshing seeing him smile and joke around and not be in a grumpy mood at all. I feel bad though that Ralph was not able to join us in the celebration. He could not take 50 minute ride going to his brothers house, he still can't sit for a long period of time. On the other hand Ralph has been healing quiet well and he says he feels good. After he is done with all his medication and his off his antibiotics I am planning on getting him some hgh supplements to help increase his metabolism and just give him energy when he goes back to work. As for now, I am just making him take things slow and not let him do any heavy lifting or strenuous work and let him rest a lot. I bet in less than a month from now he will be almost 100% back to his normal self.

GET ON TRACK

Getting back on track to exercising and eating smaller portions is not going to be as easy as I thought. I had been eating healthy and exercising but that all went out the window when my husband had his cyst drained, surgery and another surgery to close the wound. I got so swamped with everything that I had no time, nor did I have the energy to try. Even my MIL had no time to go to the gym and I know she missed it a lot specially using and getting on the treadmills at her new gym. She has been our chauffeur since Ralph has to be driven to all his appointments and all the errands we have to do. I told Ralph that next month I am going to get on track again and go on a diet. I really don't have to go on a diet but I just want to loose a little weight before my vacation and have more energy. It is not going to be easy breezy but if I keep my mind focus on my goal I will eventually survive!

24/7 NURSE

For the past couple of weeks I have been my husband's personal nurse 24/7. He finally had his wound closed last April 13, 2010 and had to stay in the hospital. For all those not in the loop my husband had a cyst removed from his derriere We thought he was just staying overnight but that all changed when his temperature went sky high up to 102.4. I felt helpless knowing he was in the hospital by himself. My husband is a grown man but I wanted to be there for him but nobody can take care of my kids. I was nervous as a hen when he called me that night and told him he has a high fever. I didn't let him on that I was worried, I could not sleep that night and was just tossing and turning waiting for him to call me again. Thankfully the next day we went to visit him and he was fine. They had to take a lot of blood test, culture and other test to find out why he had that fever. Yes, it is common for patient that just had surgery to have a fever but he should have gotten the fever the night he had surgery and not the following day. They could not find anything wrong with him but just in case had to let him stay in the hospital again. He was there for a total of 5 days.

He was happy as a peach when his doctor told him that he could come home. He got on the phone right away to let me know that he was coming home and that he wants to be picked up right away. My husband was so happy to leave the hospital not because he wasn't treated right but he missed his kids and me so much. He just wanted to see his kids and maybe spend a little time with them. Even though he can't stay on his feet to long nor sit down he was just glad to be home. He said he was so tired of having people see his naked behind all the time, lol.

CLOSING UP

Today Ralph had his second surgery. This time it is to close the wound that was left open from the removal of the cyst near his tailbone. It has been left open for more than a week to allow the wound to drain. Everyday last week a visiting nurse came to our house to clean his wound and pack it. The first time his wound was cleaned after surgery was pain inducing for me. Ralph felt nothing as all the nerve ending where they cut him were all dead. I was horrified when the nurse pulled out the packing bandage strip from his wound. I could tell that it was really deep, the hair on the back of my nape and on my arms stood up on ends. I was not disgusted but I felt pain for him every time I see his wound. I took pictures and even a video of the male nurse as he was packing his wound. Ralph saw how the wound was packed my shoving the bandage strip into his wound with a sterilized q tip. I have new found respect for people who work in the medical profession. Since I didn't think I could do the packing myself the nurse had to come everyday until last Thursday. Ralph had another appointment with both of his doctors, Dr. Clayton the specialist and Dr. Cheng the plastic surgeon. It was suggested my his plastic surgeon that his wound be cleaned and packed twice a day instead of once. The specialist agreed with the suggestion of the plastic surgeon. Since Ralph's insurance will never cover for two visits from a visiting nurse in one day I had to step up and do it on my own. Dr. Clayton showed me exactly how its to be done and how to pack it. The first time I changed his wound I was a nervous wreck. I did not want to hurt my husband, to cut the long story short I did a pretty good job and even the visiting nurse who came by that day for the last time said that I was doing great.

With his wound closed I hope that changing his bandage will be easier. I just feel bad for my husband with him all alone in the hospital. When I called him he told me his in pain not only from his surgery but his belly hurts as well and he has been throwing up. Hopefully tomorrow if the doctor gives him the all clear he will be out. Thank you Lord for watching over my husband.

TROOPER

That my friends is a picture of Kayla lying down on a dentists chair. We got her out of school early this month for our routine dental check up. Kayla was a trooper while being cleaned and examined by the dental hygenist even though I nor her daddy was not around. We had an appointment for all three of us and Ralph got called first. He took Kayla with him to let her see and assure her that when it was her turn she has nothing to be scared of. I was in the waiting area with Kaitlyn until I was informed by the staff that they were already working on Kayla and wanted to inform me. Of course I wanted to be there so Kaitlyn tagged along with me to where her big sissy was. I was so proud of Kayla for being so good and cooperative. Because she was so calm and happy about it, Kaitlyn in turn got the vibe that it was not scary at all. That was one of the reason why we took the little one with us so that when she will finally be seen by our dentist the next year she won't panic and have any fear of dentists like me. Seeing how relaxed her big sissy was while they were cleaning her teeth I am pretty sure we won't have a problem with Kaitlyn being seen by the dentist. I am really crossing my finger that Kaitlyn won't be scared of dentist like I was at her age.

EARLY DETECTION

Watching my favorite shows is just one of the ways I entertain myself. While I was pregnant with my youngest I used to watch medical shows like crazy, although I won't exclude my other non medical show. The one show that had me really laughing was My Wife and Kids starring Damon Wayans. One episode was about Michael (Wayans) getting a Colonoscopy to check his Colon for any abnormalities or problems. It was just so darn funny when it came to the part where the doctor was holding the instrument to be used for the procedure and breaking out into a song number. Mind you it just had me laughing like crazy. But before he had the procedure I think he had to prepare his body by taking some colon cleanse products. If a remembered correctly after the show ended Damon encouraged people specially of African American race to have their Colon checked. It was a funny episode but It also carried a public health service to make people aware that having routine Colon check up can help detect and catch Colon cancer at its earliest stage and have early treatment done. My MIL herself is thinking about getting her Colon checked and has been talking to Ralph about it. Whatever her decision is she know that she can always count on me and her sons to be their for her.

OFF TO THE E.R.

For the past weeks, months Ralph has been nursing a cyst on his behind. It looked like a ingrown hair but it kept getting bigger,inflamed in short infected. He finally decide to see a doctor about it and he was told it was just in grown hair and was given antibiotics for it.Ralph never took the antibiotics and of course it kept coming back. Finally last Mar 12,2010 he could no longer tolerate the pain. It got to a point that he could not walk or sit down due to the the cyst being infected. MIL took him to the ER and it was there that they drained the cyst by taking a good size chunk of his behind,lol.. I felt so bad that I was not there with him, I had to stay with my kids. I cried when he called me and told me he wanted me there and he screamed when they drained it. His white blood cell was already to high due to infection so the ER surgeon decided to admit him so he can be given an aggressive dose of antibiotic thru his IV. It was better he stayed in the hospital so this way the infection can be monitored as well as his medication..


When we finally visited him the next day he looked so exhausted and drugged up with painkiller and antibiotics. He perked up when he saw his little princesses, he didn't want them to worry specially Kayla. Hopefully he will recover fast and the infection will clear up so he can have the go signal for his cyst removal surgery on the 1st of April. We love you daddy and we miss you here at the house.

BOOSTER

I love looking at men with big bodies but not to big. My attraction for men has always run on the bigger side specially when it comes to physical appearance. That is why my husband is seriously thinking about loosing weight and working out again. He will have plenty of time in his hands after the first week of April. But, seeing that he we have surgery I don't know what the doctors recommendation is when it comes to working out. He does not really need to do a heavy work out, he just needs to loose weight and trim down his waist line. If he does decide to really work out and see great results he needs a testosterone boosters that work. Its just not to help him gain muscle fast but it will also help with his strength, stamina, sexual vigor and even energy. He needs to do this not just to look good in my eyes but also to stay healthy.

REMINISCING THE DAYS

Lets talk about the things I miss and do not miss when I was pregnant. I missed the feeling of my stomach being heavy with my child. The constant movement of the baby that could either be pleasant and painful. The instant glow that mothers get when they are pregnant. Eating anything I could get my hands on without worrying about my stomach getting bigger as it already is, lol. I don't miss the constant throwing up and not being able to eat in the process. The nauseating feeling all the time and being car sick. Constipation that lead to a slight hemorrhoid which got me so worried. You see constipation is associated with pregnancy and when constipation arises your eventually going to get it or not. In my case I got it before and after I had the baby. While pregnant I didn't want to use any medication for fear of what it might do to my unborn child. It was after I had the baby that I got an over the counter medication. Had I know that an all natural hemorrhoid treatments was available I would have had relief while pregnant. At least now when I do get pregnant the second time around I know that their is a medication that is safe for me to use.

Back to reminiscing the good parts of my pregnant days. I was just different while I was pregnat. Believe it or not I felt sexy and more of a woman. People are more accommodating to pregnant women and they get a kick out of touching your belly. I loved dressing up and to emphasize my bump. I don't know If I'll ever have another baby but hopefully it will happen.

RELAXED DAY

Today was slow and relaxed day for me. Kayla had a sleep over at our neighbors house with her best friend Tracy. I can't say I slept in with the princess bruiser trying to wake me up every 10 minutes. BIL Angelo came by the house so Ralph could take him somewhere to try for a job. Ralph also had a few errands to run while he was out and took Kayla with them. When they all got back we usually gather around in the kitchen and had something to eat. We talked about the recent snow storms and how everybody is still digging themselves out. MIL got a chance to talk to her boys about getting a colon and body cleanse that would be helpful to her health. She really wants to get this done and wanted to find to find out more about it. Since she will be turning 67 this Feb 28 she only wants to make sure she is healthy and strong. Besides it always good to find out about your physical well being before you get sick and things get worse.

FOLLOWING THROUGH

Its almost the weekend and I just can't wait. Tomorrow morning is going to be spent at the supermarket to stock up on food and paper supplies for the house. Its been more than a month since the last time we went food shopping. This time I am going to include a lot of healthy stuff not just for the adults but also for the kids. After the Holidays we made a promise that we were going to start loosing weight, exercising and eating healthy. Its not easy mind you but we have to start somewhere. Ralph wants to go back to the gym at work and start lifting weights. His brother, who is a little bit of a health freak told him about protein powder. I don't know about my husband but one of our biggest problem is we don't follow through with what we start. It's so easy to say that we are going to try but taking the first step like starting and sticking to it is hard.

68th AND AN ANNIVERSARY

It's been boring around the house with the Holidays over. We only have 2 special occasion to celebrate next month. Our 3rd wedding anniversary which happens to be on Valentines day and my MIL 68 Th birthday. I have no idea yet if we're going to be celebrating here at the house. It would be nice to have the Schifano clan in one roof again. I miss seeing the newest addition to the family which is the first great grandchild. He is such an adorable little tyke with big brown eyes and peaches and cream skin. I hope he doesn't inherit his dads genes and have lots of acne and breakouts when he becomes a teenager. I hope Andrew, Ralph's nephew will see a Dermatologist for his skin and also if the dermatologist could also prescribe back acne treatment as he has bad ones. Seeing him reminds me of my cousin back home who has bad skin problem. Our skin is our first defense and we should take good care of it. A friend told me that taking care of our skin and face early will be beneficial in the long run.