END AND RETURN

The past few days have been really rough for me. I can honestly say that It really hasn't sink in yet that my Grandfather passed away. This is the first time that I have really lost someone close to me. I cannot fathom the amount of grief my grandmother is experiencing right this minute. Everyday must seem like an eternity for her without her soul mate, husband and best friend of 61 yrs. My heart aches that I cannot go home and attend my grandfathers funeral in a couple of days. I will keep on missing him, his memories will be kept alive so stories will be passed on for more generations to come.

On the other hand, Ralph is going back to work on Friday. He has been resting a lot in preparation for a rough 12 hour shift. One thing that is bothering Ralph is the thought of not fitting his police uniform. A few days before he got cleared to go back to work he said he was going to take diet pills if he won't fit his uniform. But I encouraged him instead to just lessen his portion and stop drinking soda. He seems to be doing good for the meantime but the real test will be the day he puts on his uniform. I am crossing my fingers and toes that it will still fit him. If worse comes to worse maybe this will be his wake up call to stop drinking soda and indulging on midnight cooking snacks.

REST IN PEACE "LOLO"

This post is dedicated to my late Grandfather ILDEFONSO O. MAGALASANG.

I thought Tuesday was just going to be any ordinary day, wrong! After hosting the 4th of July BBQ we had a very lazy day. Woke up really really late, had lunch, in the pool and hanging out with the hubby. Little did I know that my world was going to turned upside down. It was after 8 p.m. that I got two calls my aunt and cousin in Chicago. My aunt left a message so I listen to that first. I was shaking when I heard the voice mail. I was afraid that something had happened to my mom or my grandpa. I hurriedly called my aunt while I was in the kitchen. She answered with such a sad voice. I knew right then that I was bad.

She started crying and finally uttered the most devastating news I had to hear "Lod, your " lolo" passed away this morning"(Lolo is what we call our grandpa in my country) I couldn't say anything. I just sobbed my heart out on the phone crying with my aunt. I just kept on crying and crying. This is the first time ever I have experience this kind of loss. It was gut wrenching and so deep that you wonder if it will ever heal. I cried for my grandpa, for my grandma, I cried for everybody's loss. But most of all I cried because I was not able to say goodbye. No one had a chance to say goodbye to him. My heart goes out to my grandma who was not able to say she loved him one last time. They were each others best friend and lovers for 61 long years.

To my Grandpa "lolo" Thank you so much for all that you have done, your sacrifices, and lessons will forever be etched in our hearts. I want to say so much but my heart is just so broken. I miss you so much....

Until we see each other again "lolo", I will be forever proud to have been your granddaughter. We love you and will live for your memories and celebrate your life...

4th OF JULY

Ever since yesterday I have been a flutter getting the house in order. We are hosting this year's 4th of July BBQ. Its just going to be family with the exception of my BIL bringing a lady friend as his date. At least I have taken care of the kitchen, family room, and the playroom is half way decent. What I needed was tea candles to put under my oil warmer. I had forgotten to buy them at the store while we were out. I knew my MIL had some stashed in the basement so I went to hunt them down. I looked everywhere and came across some of the Baby Invitations I had 4 years ago. That brought a lump in my throat. I so want another baby so much but things are not going the way we planned. Anyways, I am not going to bore you with my sob story for now. As for the tea candle I could not find it, we must have thrown it out by accident back when we were cleaning up the basement. I didn't give up though, I went looking upstairs in all the drawers and finally found one, lol. I guess it will have to do for tomorrow. We will be spending most of our time outside on the deck or in the pool tomorrow. Its going to be a perfect day to have a BBQ and dip in the pool when it gets to hot..

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!

HOW I RECHARGE

What do you do when you get bored feeling burned out? As a stay at home mom I do get burned out. I rarely do or buy anything for myself. Its all about family, not that I mind but sometimes I need time for myself and just relax. My one form of relaxation and charging my battery is going to the Mall. Not to go shopping mind you but to window shop and go people watching. Most of the time I go home with nothing or with something less than $20. My mantra when going to the Mall is not to spend on one single Item over $25. Even with a very tight budget or no budget at all I do have fun specially now that I have a window shopping buddy, my youngest daughter. She loves going to the mall and looking at different things be it from shoes, bags to clothes. She even loves to try things on and will give very honest opinion if I look good or not. She has a knack for fashion and loves looking at fashion accessories. At one store she was so busy trying on a couple of hats, stackable rings, necklaces and stacks and stacks of bangle bracelets. She would even ask me to take a picture of her while she tries on some stuff. Even though she tries on those things she knows that we won't be buying any of it. She knows that we are only looking and trying them on. Like most kids she does ask from time to time if we could buy certain items and I would always tell her that we didn't have the money for it. I am proud to say that she doesn't have a hissy fit when she doesn't get what she wants in the mall. She understand and would say " mama when you have money will you buy it for me?". It breaks my heart when she says that but I have to teach my daughter that she can't have anything she wants. Sure, I can very well afford to buy a lot of things but I choose not to. Still, we both have a grand old time just browsing around and at the end of the day, with or without purchase we end up enjoying each others company more.

MY SYSTER, THE CHEF

This post is dedicated to my one and only sister Mitzi.

Last June 22, 2011 in Cebu my sister received her certificate in Advance Culinary Arts. Ever since my sister has had a love affair with food. Aside from my grandma, she is the second best cook in our family. I know how to cook mind you but my cooking is mediocre compared to my sister. She is one hell of a cook! Last year she started going to school to learn more about cooking. I knew she was going to make it and excel for this was something she really love and enjoy doing. Aside from receiving her certificate she also got two awards. The Service Recognition Award and The Student Leadership Award.

I am so proud of my sister for her great achievement. Pay attention culinary world for my sister is about to rock your world, lol. I really didn't get a chance to really express my happiness on her graduation so here goes.

Chay,

Manang, I am so proud of you. The past months have not been really great but you did not let that stop you from smiling and persevering and holding on. How I wish I was there to bear witness as you received your certificate. I am so proud of you manang! I am so sorry if it seems that I am not there for you. I love you with all my heart. I know you will make it big and you will succeed. You are not only a great daughter, sister, friend but you are also a wonderful mom to Alyssa. I love you so much manang!I will make it up to you one of this days..

A GRADUATION

Last June 21, 2011 at Keansburg High School my family and I were witness to the end of Kristen's high school education and the beginning of a new higher learning. Kristen is the oldest child of Ralph's older brother Larry. See the guy with the graduate? That's my BIL Larry, he can be a pain in the butt but he is really a nice guy and a good dad. We made it a point to go to New Jersey so we could celebrate with her and show her how proud we are of her achievement. Watching her graduate brought back memories of my high school graduation. I just want to say that Ralph and I are so proud of you Kristen! Keep reaching for the stars and don't ever give up because nothing is impossible if you try. We love you!

IN TOUCH

Isn't it amazing how everything is so easy in this generation? Long gone were the days were we are tied up with only the phone in our houses. We didn't have any mobile phones back then to bring around with us to keep us connected with our loved ones. My MIL and I talk about how it used to be without the technology and the gadgets of today. She is one of those few mature people that keeps in touch with technology. One of the few things that fascinate her is the advancement of smart phones. It amazes her how such a small device can contain so much information and can do so much as well. When we got out new phones she also got a new one herself. It wasn't a smart phone as she wasn't ready for it yet. I saw that my MIL is slowly asking more and more questions about smart phones and I think she is ready for one. There are a lot of smart phones out in the market and htc virgin could be one of the few choices she can pick from.It will be interesting to see though her using a touch screen phone with her arthritic fingers. I don't think its going to stop her from staying on top of technology and connected to the world wide web.

DADDY DAY

A Happy Happy Father's day to the my husband!

I just want to say that its easy to be a father, but it takes a real man to stand up to his responsibility and a Dad, Papa or Tatay. God has generously blessed my kids and I a man who truly loves his children. I grew up not really knowing my father. God didn't want my kids to grow up like that so he sent me a man a good man. A father who will gladly lift up his kids so they can reach the stars, lay down his life to protect them and most of all love them with all his heart. To all the wonderful Dad out there, Happy Father's Day again..

P = PIERCING

Last Memorial Day was hosted by my BIL. We drove early to their house and brought some of the food. Its always good to have family around since my immediate family is half way around the world. As usual family gatherings are always loud with so much to catch up on and good food to fill our bellies. It was that day that I found out something about my BIL that I never thought he would do. He got piercing on his body and I could not believe it. I had to see it to believe it and it was true. I have nothing against people with piercing as its their body. My BIL is full of surprises and so does my SIL. I even asked her if she has a garter belt of a costume I could borrow, lol. I wouldn't be surprise if she has a naughty nurse costume in their closet, I may even have to get one so I can be my husband's personal nurse. I didn't really got to see all the goodies she has as I found out about my BIL piercing before we left for the day. My MIL was so shocked when she found out and would not believe us until she sees it for herself. I guess she will get the shock of her life when he comes down by us for the day and go swimming,lol.

THE RITE TO BE SCARED

A couple of days ago my husband and I decided to indulge in our favorite pastime together, watching a movie after the kids are all tucked in bed. Since we have been married we have only been to the movies once. I prefer watching movies at home or the computer. Its our alone time together. We usually watch action/adventure, comedy/romance and of course the horror movies. I get so scared so easily but I still love to watch horror movies as long as my husband is with me. He laughs when I pick a scary movies and teases me if I will be watching the whole movie or half of it with my hands over my eyes. When I get scared I cover my eye with one hand and the other will be holding his. As soon as a scary part comes on I would cover my eyes and tell him to let me know as soon as its over, lol.. He cracks up every time I scream when something just happens on screen without any warning.

The movie we watched that night was The Rite, with Sir Anthony Hopkins. It was about exorcism and a true story to boot. I have always been fascinated and intrigued about religious horror movies. I still remember the Exorcist and until now think that its one of the greatest horror movie classic of all time. Anthony Hopkins is such a versatile actor who can pull you into the web of the story with the way he commands attention on screen. It was a good movie and I only screamed once, lol. Ralph got startled when I screamed coz I was holding his hands when something was happening on screen, lol... I love movie night with my husband, its our own time to ourselves.

CRACK

Oh snap it cracked! That is a picture of our kitchen counter. I don't know how it happened and when it happened but its not good. Our kitchen counter is still new. I only noticed the crack when I was using the crock pot. Maybe it cracked when the crock pot was placed not to gently on the counter? Nobody seems to know. It seems like I was the only one who noticed the crack. Of course as soon as I saw it I had to tell my husband so he could call the company we bought it from. First he has to find out the warranty of the kitchen counter. Hopefully something can be done. As for now you can't even tell where the crack is, but I know and it will bother me until it is fixed or replaced.

MY COUSIN AND I

Last May15, 2011 I got to see my cousin again. The last time we saw each other was 3 years ago on Thanksgiving day. I missed her so much and its a blessing that we keep in touch via phone. I was so thrilled when she told me she was going to be in Delaware to get her certification for Zumba. She wanted to see me even for a couple of hours. When I found out she was coming I made her Adobao and cooked her some dried fish (dangit). She was getting her certification at the Boys and Girls Club which was only 15 min away from the house. I was so excited to see her that I told her that we were picking her up. She didn't recognize me right away when she came out, lol. We talked non-stop when she in got in the car until we got home. She doesn't have a lot of filipino friends in NY so she doesn't get to enjoy Filipino food that much. We had a blast talking and eating at the same time. Even though she only got to stay for a couple of hours we had fun. Before she got picked up by her friends, I got a chance to give her the rest of the Filipino dish I made. I made her promise to come back in the summer for at least a couple of days so she can hang out with us and just relax. I'm glad I got to see and talk to her, I missed her.. Thanks again Manang Sigred for dropping by..

PROTECTED

Being a stay at home mom and earn online is a blessing. I thank the day that my friend encouraged me to join blogging. It wasn't as hard and difficult as I thought it was specially when you have friends who are willing to help you along the way. I have read a lot of interesting articles written by people from all over the world. Gave me the chance to get a glimpse of how they are living and coping with day to day activities. Made lots of new friends all over. One of the downside to blogging is when you get directed to sites that are malicious with spyware and malware programs and viruses that wreak havoc on my computer. It seemed like every year we were buying a new computer due to viruses infecting the hard drive. I didn't know then that something like PC Tools could help with what I was having trouble with. We just got a new touch smart computer and I will be damned first before I let any virus get into our system. We have anti-virus installed but I would rather look into more options to see a better way of protecting our new computer. I am keeping a close watch on our new computer and if I notice that our anti-virus is not working up to par I will not hesitate to get help and download any antivirus software on PC Tools.

COMPRESSION WITH FASHION

Summer is announcing its presence blazing hot! I have been waiting for many months for a very hot weather. Being born in a tropical country my body is used to the warm and I don't think I will ever get used to the winter months here. Still I don't want to waste any more time being cooped up in the house. With the warm weather I get to enjoy wearing sleeveless tops, shirts, summer dresses, skirts and short. I love wearing shorts but I have noticed that my varicose veins have gotten more visible and have more spider veins on my things and legs. Wearing compression hosiery is suppose to help minimize that. I have never worn one since I always thought they looked ugly and it made me feel old. Well, that was before. Today, compression hosiery can come in any color and design you want. I wouldn't mind buying one, hopefully wearing it will help with circulation on my thighs and legs.

READY TO FLY?

A follow up on the 3 little birdies we found in a bush in our backyard. Ever since we discovered the nest both Ralph and I have been keeping tabs on the nest and the little birdies in it. I could see the birds from the kitchen sink. When I am washing something I see either the mama bird or the daddy bird standing over the nest. I could see the baby birds mouth open wide to eat the worm that the papa/mama bird caught. In just a few days the 3 little hairless birds we saw are bigger and they have more feathers in them. When I took this picture I knew it wasn't going to be long before each birdie fly off the nest. And 2 days after I took this photo we saw the last of the 3 birdies fly off the nest. Its the way of life and what a wonderful way it is.