BABY MEOW MEOW!

Halloween is just lurking around the corner,waiting to pounce on all the little girls and boys who love to dress up one day of the year. They can be anybody they want and not have to worry about looking like a dork or looking weird..In fact, the weirder your costume or outfit is the more you fit right in. Last year i got my first glimpse of the cute boys and girls that braved the chilly night to go trick or treating be it with a parent ,sibling,relative or a friend. From the weirdest of weird, the cutest of cute and tiniest little darlings. Hearing the words " TRICK OR TREAT" and holding up little pumpkin basket or bags for the goodies to be dropped.My stepdaughter unfortunately was not able to celebrate her Halloween with us for it was her mom's turn. And my daughter was barely a month old then.

This year both my little girls will be going trick or treating together for the first time. We have not decided on what big sister will go as.For baby sister we may have a winner already. About 4 months ago we went on a garage sale in our neighbourhood and saw this black cat costume that would look cute on my daughter. Today was the day of reckoning if it will fit her. I was afraid it was going to be big on her for she is just a tiny little thing,i fondly call my firstborn my little midget. Much to our surprise it fit her like a glove. She looked so adorable and just so cute.

The BLACK BABY MEOW MEOW!

Now you tell me,does she not put a smile on your face?

RUN OUT OF HAIRSPRAY?

Way back when teased hair bangs was all the rave my cousin found some daily stuff that actually works.like,sometimes more than a hairspray.Those were the days were a lot of girls teased there hair so much on both sides of the head to have what i call the cobra look or have the tall fringe bangs look that adds height,lol.

These were some of the things WE USED:

BEER (san miguel)
TOOTHPASTE (any brand)
EGG WHITE
SNOWBEAR (candy)

Weird stuff but hey they worked back then,lol....

BABY ON ME

Carrying around 20 pounds is not an easy feat mind you.Having a wriggling, 20 pound 10 month old baby on your front or back! whew! what a task!

After we got Big sister off to school i left her in the family room all alone and play with her toys.I had to scramble around to get things done before she starts to cry and want me. She was fine and playing with her toys until!!!!

She heard daddy's keys opening the door. Started pulling herself up against the ottoman and waited for her daddy to show up..As soon as she saw a glimpse of her daddy she was jumping up and down as much as her fat little legs would let her and had a big tootless grin on her silly face. Daddy of course picked her up and put her down again coz he had to change. Then the crying and wailling started. I didnt get to finish what i was doing. i took out the baby carrier and put her in it.

She looked like she is having fun while mama did things around the house. And of course im going to feel the pain tonight but hey, if it means seeing that toothless gooffy smile? Id do anything for her!!!

TEENS AND SEX

As a mother you wonder how my girls are going to grow up in this corrupt world of us right now. It boogles my mind when i read in the magazines and papers and see it on the new how young boys and girls are having sexual intercourse. Its hard for me to grasp the reality of it and the harsh truth of what is really happening. I know its happening but i cannot for some reason understand why...

• why are this young girls and boys doing?
• what gave them this idea about SEX?
• what does a teenager know about SEX?
• where are the parents?
• What are we doing about it?

Ralph niece is 16 yrs old,she spent a weeks with us again.She is an intelligent young lady and i have been talking to her about SEX,BOYS and LIFE. I have been encouraging her to stay strong and stand by her values and not get suaded by other girls that are doing things they are not suppose to do. Telling her to wait for the right guy and to just enjoy bieng a teenager and not jump along in the band wagon of TEENAGERS BIENG SEXUALLY ACTIVE. She went home and sent me a txt message last night saying that one of her friends is pregnant!!! do you want to know how old this girl is?she is just 14 yrs old! for crying out loud,what is wrong with this girls~!!!!Now,my niece txt me again today to tell me that the young girl is going to get rid of the baby.Her parents doesnt know what she has been doing.

I am pro life and i am not in favor or abortion at all! its out of the question unless it is for health reason.These young girls dont know,they think they are so cool bieng sexually active but balks at the thought of having a baby and the shame it will bring to them and how it will destroy there lives. Dont they know the moment they have an abortion they have already committed the most haneous of crime? The murder of an innocent child.!It is worse than anything.

Some survery conducted the year 2000 :

• By the time students are in the ninth grade, 34% have had sexual intercourse. That rises to 60% by 12th grade.
• Of those surveyed in 2000, 56% said they first had sex at their family's home or at the home of their partner's family.
  Another 12% had their first sex at a friend's house; 9% at a teen's own home; 4% in a truck or car; 3% at a park or other outdoor place and 3% at a hotel or motel. Ten percent said someplace else.

When i read this it was like getting hit on the head. This was conducted 8 yrs ago,what about now?! What is happening to us?!

Parents,we need to wake up!!!!!! Take a good look around and take off the web of fog around our eyes and mind...We need to talk to our kids and lay out the cards about the pro's and con's of bieng sexually active. We need to stop and really listen to what is happening around us.. I am so scared shitless about my girls growing up in our society today.I dread the day they will reach puberty. I know i cannot run my girsl lives and i cannot protect them and shield them from what is happening around us,but this i promise myself:

I will be there for you my little girls and i will talk to you openly about these things the way my mum did to me. I will try my hardest to raise my girls to respect themselves and to be strong and stand up for what they believe in and to stick to there values. I know my kids are going to fall off the right path but if we the parents are there for them we will be able to pick them right up and help them to the right path once again....

AMONG HER MANY FIRST'S

How do you prepare yourself for the many firsts of your childrens lives? Will you cry or will you burst with laughter?



My step daughter's first day of school was something memorable and something i didnt want to miss. She started kindergarten last wed Aug 20,08 she not only started the first day of school but she went on the school bus for the very first time!At 5 yrs old you get so worried and so hesitant about sending letting her ride the bus where she will be by herself without me or her daddy.



We started the day on a wednesday morning bright and early. Woke up and of course kayla came barreling in baby sister's room to play for a little bit. Didnt even realize that daddy was home and he was still sleeping. After playing for a few minutes Kayla woke up her dad saying :

daddy wake up! time to get ready for school!

Excited as we were i was so tired and still groggy from waking up early. Im not a morning person never was and never will,lol...My pancakes that i previously freezed came into good use as Kayla wanted pancakes.While taking care of Kayla i also had to take care of another mouth,her baby sister Kaitlyn who is getting to be so demanding but so adorable..Breakfast passed without incident as well as brushing the teeth. Time to do her hair.She has very long hair down to her waist,i parted her hair and braided it.She was all pink.

As we walked out the door in the chilly morning my husband and i wondered how she would do going on the bus. Camera was always on hand to make sure i captured the moment. The bus stop was jsut right around the second corner from our house. As soon as we got to the bus stop Kayla meet two other little girls her age but were in different rooms. The other one was Tamara which happens to be our neighbor that kayla talks to thru the fence,hhehe..Kelly was the other little girl.

We the parents were so anxious ,happy yet sad.Finally buss 232 glided to the bus stop and Kayla was so excited and if we didnt tell her to give us a kiss goodbye she would have just gone up the bus and left us standing there. She gave us a quick kiss and a flying kiss for baby sister coz she was so excited to run over to her to give her a proper kiss.Ralph and I were teary eyed. Kayla our little girl is growing up so fast.

Going back home was like doing the walk of doom coz now we were all nervous and worried about how she will react going to school in that fashion. We patiently waited for her arrival at the bus stop again. Our worries were for naught for she had a wonderful time in school and just couldnt stop narrating what they did and how she ate at the cafeteria like a big girl.Letting her go to Pre-K last year helped her to adjust quickly to a full day of school.

I hope her enthusiasm for school will continue....

Daddy,baby sister,grandma and I are so proud of you.

We love you and congratulation for you are a big girl now!!!

BIOPSY

Yesterday i went to the doctors to have a check up on the small growth on my right outer leg. The growth has been growing and it started to hurt a little bit and bothering me. I have had this growth on my leg for about 4 yrs now and it was just ok.when i got here in the US it would fall off and the round growth would get flat but then it would grow back again. I decide to have it checked coz it looked disgusting on my leg and i wanted it gone. I thought it was just going to be a routine check up and i would be sent to a dermatologist so they could check it more thouroughly but no,our family doctor was very curious about the growth coz it didnt look like a wart nor a regular mole..how could i tell her its called a (congo) in my country?i dont even know the english term for it,lol.....she poked and pushed and poked on it again. and then told me and my husband that it has to come off since it will only keep coming back. She explained that the growth will have to be taken out right from the core so it wont come back again.

Ralph asked if she could do it in the clinic and take it out and the doctor sure said yes she can!!..I was horrified,scared and nervous. I was told that there would ba a scar and that it wont hurt when they take it out.and of course they will send the growth to a lab for biopsy.

I was sent to another room and prepped for the removal of the so called growth. I was such a baby and i held my husbands hand and whinned so much...i almost cried when they injected my leg with numbing medication..It really hurt a lot!!! i also had 4 stitches after it was taken out..I am glad it was over but anxious to know if the growth will come back and the result of the biopsy.

As soon as i got home i told everybody in the house who would listen about how it hurt and how many stitches i got and how i was bleeding,lol. I am hurting now and its throbbing a lot. I wanted to take a picture but i forgot my camera..

I anxiously await the result of my BIOPSY.

SHE SAYS

Having 5 yr old around and a 9 month old is pretty interesting and nothing is ever boring..There is something happening or new all the time. My step daughter is at this phase where she constantly asks questions ,making up the weirdest stories and saying the funniest things..

These are her common expression :

ONE TIME = It's like the american pie the movie..When she starts going off into her world and starts spinning her own story she begins her story with this.

I KNOW = everytime you remind her of something or tell her to do this would be her usual reply. and whats funny is even if she doesnt know she will still say this.

WHAT YOU SAY = When she wants you to repeat what you wee saying to her.

IM SICK OR MY BONE IS BROKEN = When she doesnt want to eat and gives you this excuse but when you tell her ok if you dont eat you wont get anything. She then recants whatever she was saying and starts to eat.

Those are just the few words that comes out of a 5 yr olds mouth..

I specially love the way she tries and talk like a big girl and repeat what you say. She tries to say some words but they are never the same...Its pretty hilarious!Now that her baby sister is starting to do stuff she immitates her and tries to teach her to be a big girl like her. Her little sister follows her MANANG ( BIG SISTER) like a puppy dog.

I cant wait for my two girsl to really start communicating and talking. I would love to be a fly on the wall when they talk without any adults around.. Its going to be very interesting what kind of stories they come up with. With a childs mind,nothing is off limits,imagination is boundless and never ending,stories are ever changing,tempers are always tested and love and forgiveness is ever abundant.

Raising a child is hard work but you get a smile everytime they give you hugs and kisses. Its all worth while..

SLEEP

SLEEP

As elusive as you are
my body and mind needs you
i long to feel your misty fog
to cloud my brain
and bring me to your relaxing realm

The mirror knows no lie but truth
i look into but i see no gem
a Zombie like persno stares back instead
its take a split second to realize
it is me im looking

haggard looking face with bloodshot eyes
hooded by exhaustion of today
skin pale as a ghost

If i blink to much ill sleep where im at
be it standing or sitting ,awake i am not
the night use to be my recharching source of life
it has become my enemy coz of light.

i must catch you for sandman has taken you
He has missed my house and left no dust
to cover my eyes to sleep at night
slumber here i come, i must befriend the light
to keep up with life.

In summers time where school is not
i welcome you night in a lovers arm
like a phoenix from ash i will arise
and be the night owl i was once.

PANCAKES from SCRATCH

As a mother you try to make life easier for you when it comes to easy breakfast food and saving.We bought a package of small pancakes about 8 months ago for kayla's breakfast. I unfortunately ran out of it just when Kayla was hunkering for a pancake for breakfast, then i remembered.My sister back home loves to make pancakes(hotcake)and she makes them from scratch. I got her to email me the recipe and viola!!! I started making and freezing my own pancakes for breakfast. You can add fruits on your pancake batter like,bananas,blueberries and others.Saves me money and its conveniet. All you have to do is pop it in the microwave and pancakes for breakfast!..

in purple Ashley, in pink Kayla

Kayla loves it,specially when i make it into small round pancakes. She could eat as much as 6-8. Today,she and Ashley my visiting niece had fun flipping the pancakes and eating them to.



Since this was a success,i was thinking about making waffles from scratch to so this way i can make waffles and we dont have to spend a lot on this breakfast stuff. Ill have to buy a waffle maker,lol

Recipe :

1 1/2 c. all purpose flour

1 1/2 c. cake flour (if not available all purpose will do)

5 Tsp. baking power

2/3 c. sugar

2 eggs

1 c. milk

1 c. water

1 tsp salt

6 tbsp melted butter

1 tsp vanilla

* sift flour and then measure.Add baking powder, sugar and salt.Mix and set aside.

*beat eggs and add the vanilla. Mix the milk and the slightly warm butter then add to the egg. Beat well.

*slowly add the flour mixture and beat well in one direction.Add the water and if to sticky add a little bit more water.

*add bananas,blueberries or your preference to the batter.

*then cook regularly

BON APPETITO!!!

The STRANGER I KNOW

It was 30 years ago that a beautiful young mother welcomed her second child to the world. She describes the infant like snowhite :

hair as black as night

lips red as a rose and

skin as white as snow

The infant joined a family consisting of a man,a woman and a sibling. This people are no stranger to her,they became her lifeline,her safety net and source of joy. Little did she know that it was about to change. The family she once thought was strong ,was slowling crumbling before her eyes. Closing her eyes to the truth was not an option, she had to open them and saw how he left. She could not undertand why from a family of 4 they had become 3. Crying and praying day and night she did a lot, even resorting to calling out his name in a big jug to come home. Every birthdays she waits and hopes to see a familiar face once again only to have her hopes dashed as every sun sets in the horizon. She question why, she tries to make it easier for herself. She was in denial. For years she would pray for him to come back and make them whole again, keeps hoping but hopes can only last for so long. Until one day she woke up with a smile in her face. Accepting the fact that a 3 was ok lifted her up and gave her a new prospective look on life.

Moving on was her next step,with that she learned, to embrace the present and let go of the past, memories started to fade. Connecting to a once broken bridge was done and again she was subjected to this past hurt she had tried to bury. One question was asked from her

do you miss him?

A simple answer was all she could say : "no"

"how do you miss someone you dont know?"

She saw Him again but in a different light, do you know what she saw ?

Her papa,how can she call him that? Since his absence time has changed what was in her heart,he lost and became a father. The papa she once knew no longer exist. Thankful for his part in creating her she is grateful for that. All praise and love flows abundant to the waterfalls of a mother's love. I will forever love you my mother.

As for The MAN , he is my FATHER. I know him but yet he is a stranger. And that is why he is :

THE STRANGER I KNOW.....

MORNING BIRD OR NIGHT OWL?

Which one are you ?

MORNING BIRD

OR

NIGHT OWL

I Myself prefer being a night owl. I just hate waking up early in the morning where its cold, the sun is shinning in your eyes and i don't know,maybe I'm just staying up to late,lol...My step dad however is a morning bird. No matter what time he sleeps at night he always wakes up early in the morning and take note,he is not a grouch in the morning..For my mum,sister and myself we prefer the night. My mum would stay up until the wee ours of the morning cleaning,doing stuff or making fashion accessories. Basically my sister and I are the same. I like the stillness and the privacy the night offers. I feel i can do more and nobody is interrupting what I'm doing hence,making work faster and quicker.The cover of night allows my thoughts to go wonder about and i can talk to myself and not worry that someone might hear and think I'm crazy. I guess its my own way of connecting to myself and allowing time to just sway around me.When I'm up at night i don't feel and sense the urgency of time.Its as if time has stood still for me so i can do all my thinking and whatever. I de-stress myself at night,its like I'm reborn. Crazy huh? but i guess i got it from my mum.

The opening of school makes me shudder. I will have to wake up around 6 in the morning to take care of my stepdaughter and get her set up for school. I am very grouchy and touchy in the morning,i don't want to take out my grouchiness on my kids. That's not all, autumn is just lurking around the corner. and before we know it,winter is here..Winter and waking up early is surely a big test for me being a mom. I dread winter time where its freezing cold and i have to go out and stay with my stepdaughter and wait for her bus. That's going to be interesting,lol..

The only solution i see to this dilemmas is to start sleeping early at night and avoid taking naps in the afternoon with the baby. With my husbands help I'm sure i can manage it. It will just take a little getting use to.

So early morning worms be warned! the new early morning bird is coming right at you!!!

TWO MOTHERS

As a Mother and a Stepmom ,how do yo prepare yourself from questions like

" how come she has two mommies",

"why do we have different mommies?",

" why is my mommy not here" ,

"what is a stepmom"

These are just few of the question i fear to hear and dont really know how to answer. I got my test on the first question. My husband's nieces are staying with us for the week. Ashley whose 8 yrs old asked me in a very serious way "how come she has two mommies?" pertaining to my stepdaugther kayla. I was caught offguard that i just gave her a lame answer.I told her that i was Kayla's stepmom and that her mommy lives somewhere else. And she proceeded to ask me why Kayla would want to stay here rather than her mommy. I just said she wants to be with her daddy,baby sister ,grandma,me and her cuzns. Its not that she doesnt love her mommy any less she just wants to be with her daddy and baby sister more.

I thought i was going to hear this questions from my stepdaughter herself but she is just 5 yrs old. The first few days that she saw her baby sister she was so confused as to who her baby sister's mom was. She had a hard time understanding why i was her baby sister's mommy.At her age she will one day ask me one or all of those questions.

If Kayla would ask me now why she has two mommies i would answer her this way

you didnt live in my belly when you were still a baby like your sister Kaitlyn.but when i met you,you grew in my heart. I am your second mommy.Became one from the day you first gave me a hug.

I just hope that what i tell her will be enough to answer her questions.

If whoever reads and were asked this questions, what would your answer be?

A CHILD ONCE MORE

I have forgotten how much fun,i had with so many simple things in life. The sheer joy i get from the daring adventure and trouble we got ourselves into. Brings back so many memories painful,happy,sad and all the likes a child feels. If i could only close my eyes and go back when i was between teh ages of 5-10. Everything was alright in my eyes,i didnt know what life was really about. All i cared about was playing,eating and being with my mum and my sister. I had to idea things were going to change so drastically. My cuzns one the paternal and maternal sides i still had a close relationship and nothing marred that.My maternal cousins the MAGLASANG'S were all neighbors back then. And i go back and forth and spend time with my paternal cousins the CODILLA'S as well.

It was different for each sides,with the Maglasang clan we just played all day long just Mitzi,Regi,Dominic,Brigitte and I. We would all meet up at where else?Grandmas! She had a huge backyard for a playground. Superhero were among many of the games we played and we had costumes to prove it. I was Supergirl, Mitzi was the Indian girl, Dominic was Spiderman and Brigitte and Regi bieng sisters were the Batgirls. Our games were simple, we pluck flowers from my grandma's many flower pors and stick the petals to our fingers with our saliva for glue like it was nail polish. Like normal kids we had fight and had alliances and who would surrender first. Those were the days. We would go to LAO (farm) and just climb the many fruits that was abundant around the farm. We had our fill of the fruits of nature and that was all that we would it.

My cuzn's nanny could make little things form the pomelo skins and accessories from the palm leaves of a coconut tree. There was no stopping us,we playes like there was no tomorrow. Everything we wanted we got. Toys we had plenty, toys that was from nature. KAmbantog (log cabin) was one of the few places we loved going,it was cold but we were warmed by each others laughter and presence. Picturisque view of the mountaintop,animals and ponds. My grandparents had a fishpond and we were asked to catch some frogs for my grandma to cut up and feed to the fishes. I had the best memories as a child.

The CODILLA clan was different experience altogether. Wrestling shows was just one of the many things we like to watch and our own wrestling hero's were our uncles. Playing hide and seek was a favorite of all except for one,and that was melanie. She was always the one who has to look for us. We bullied her so much as she was the tattle tale in the group and the cry baby. I feel bad for the way we treated her back then but we loved each other. Swimming in the pool from sunrise till sunset,getting burned from the sun and a stomach full of chips and fruits. Grandparents had a COCKFIGHTING ARENA were were would go and just brad to the other kids around about how we owned it,lol. Bat hunting was a big big thing .Like in the movies we thought that if we bring a bat into the sunlight it would catch on fire. How sillly we were back then. We were so close and had so much fun.

Then we grew up. Things happened that was beyond my control. I lost touch of my Codilla cousin's and Relatives. Bridge that was once sturdy from childhood had gone weak from time . I have have done my best for rebuild it.

I wish i could turn back time and be a child once more...

COMPUTER SAVY OR A KNUCKLEHEAD

Trying to figure out how to maneuver my way thru this blogging gig is creating a SHORT CIRCUIT in MY BRAIN!!!

I am not a computer whiz or anything close to it, i call myself the knucklehead for not being

able to figure out the simplest of directions! and ggrrrrrrhhh! it is driving me up the wall. I am not embarrass to admit to my friends that i don't know anything about computers. Atop from getting tired from taking care of the kids i get a throbbing headache figuring out things here . but hey,soon enough I'm pretty pretty sure ill get the handle around things here.Its just gonna need some time and more trial and error and if worse comes to worse ill just call on to my friends to rescue me from this tangled mess that i have made for myself.

Relax,breathe and just write...

Blogging is suppose to be like your online journal. Well,at least i have a place to write all the things i gripe and whine about and all the things i am most thankful for. I just need to focus and think.My husband hates when i feel sorry for myself and when i get this self doubt thing going on. It doesn't happen all the time. I have to be positive.. A good nights rest to clear my foggy overworked brain today will do me fine.

Remember : your one hot smart sexy mama!!!!

QUENCH

QUENCH = To slake; satisfy

almost quivering,yet still sane for you.

the feel or your makes me just unwind from the hot summer sun.

the fizz of your hot breath just swirl around my senses and makes my mouth water.

swirling in your icy cold dark body,i must have you.

the sweet bite of you on my lips sends tanlizing desire for your taste.

the first gulp sends and explotion of hunger,one of sweet surrender

and warm hot summer night.nothing can quench me but you.

tonight i will meet you in my dreams just you and I my sweetdrink

..i thirst for you ..

my dark ,cold ,pliable

COCA COLA...

for some unexplanable reason i have been craving coca cola like crazy.nothing can quench my thirst but this.could it be im pregnant?or could it one of those days that i must have what my body craves. in a couple of weeks i will have my answer.