MOUTH ULCER /CANKER SORE

For years i have been afflicted by this so called mouth ulcers.From small to full blown ulcer,its not an experience i would like to have.Last month i got a bad case of the mouth ulcer, i could barely open my mouth,speak and swallow.I was getting worried thinking something must be really wrong with me.So to answer all my questions,i went on a quest online to find out more about mouth ulcers:

ORAL ULCER : is the name for the appearance of an open sore inside the mouth caused by a break in the mucous membrane or the epithelium on the lips or surrounding the mouth.

2 COMMON ULCERS

1. aphthous ulcers = commonly known as Canker Sore
2. herpis simplex virus = commonly known as the Cold Sore

CAUSES

• Range from lack of vitamin b12,
  
• Iron,Folic acid
• trauma
• infection
• viral
• dietary
• immune system
• fatigue
• allergy
• fatigue
• stress
  
• cancer

How to avoid getting one is up to us..Oral hygiene is the number one key and balance diet and getting daily dose of vitamin b12,folic acid and iron. If you have already have a mouth ulcer/canker sore now,try mouth wash with antibacterial formula, or gargle warm water with salt and the most painful one is dashing the ulcer with salt. I myself have tried all this and it worked wonders for me.I must advice if you use the salt method try numbing the oral ulcer and the surrounding area with ice cube.

HUNGER AND DEATH

Yesterday i was just dropping my e-card on blogs when i made my way to http://readinglounge.com i was in tears when i saw this:

I could not believe my eyes. Tears just started to flow,my daughter was sleeping on my lap and i just instinctively clutched her in my arms holding her tight..I cried for the child and for the mother who bore that child into this world.

How could we let this happen? It was also mentioned that :It was a 1994 Pulitzer Prize winning photo.The photographer Kevin Carter committed suicide 3 months after receiving the prize.The horrible images and haunting dreams he must have suffered because of this picture.

I could not even imagine the sorrow and pain the mother of the child going through.This was just a child, a child who should have been healthy , playing and laughing but instead, a dying child child so emancipated and very near deaths door that a vulture is waiting for death to claim the child...

PANIC AND SCARE

My baby girl is growing up to fast. At exactly 10 months she took her first few steps. A step that says,I'm growing up mama,look what i can do..She still depends on me but time will come she will stop and do things on her own. For now i will enjoy each and every hugs and kisses i get from her. And i will keep looking forward to each and every tears that i wipe,bobo's that i kiss and every dribble i wipe.

Walking a little bit more and more steps everyday. She has become my little klutzy, accidental prone magnetizer. I kid you not,she gets more than a dozen bumps on the head and a couple of dozen more for falling on her butt.

Today PANIC AND SCARE was knocking on my doorstep. I was putting her down on the floor in the family room while i went to the kitchen to check on dinner, i had just taken but a few steps when i heard a thump and a big scream coming from her. I rushed to her side and swept her up in my arms and comforting her.She screamed her head off and had her little face buried in my shirt.I put my hand on the side of her face to calm her down. I got a bloody hand,she was bleeding..

MY GOD! MY HEART PANICKED AND STARTED TO THUMP HARDER AND HARDER AND I WAS GETTING SCARED BY THE SECOND.

She was bleeding from her mouth.Took her outside,Ralph and kayla were just getting on the deck when i shouted :

HONEY,I NEED HELP.SHE'S BLEEDING

My shirt got blood and I was shaking inside. Close to tears i was but i had to hold it together.I had to think,went inside to get some ice and let her suck on it to stop the bleeding.It stopped, but my heart was still racing.After a few minutes she is alright, she was laughing again like nothing happened.So this is how it feels when your child gets hurt.Id rather see my own blood than my children's.

As i rocked her to sleep my thoughts traveled in time,a time where she was older.Will she still need me as much as I need her?

PALIN AND TEENAGE PREGNANCY

As a mother I applaud Gov. Palin for her honesty and for being PRO LIFE,but I'm also greatly disappointed as to why a Mother who is a supporter of abstinence could have a 17 yrs old pregnant daughter.I was disgusted to hear when a press statement was release saying they are happy and that the kids will get married..WHAT?!@#

What does a 17 yr old girl know about marriage. If i was here i would be devastated for the future that my daughter could have had. I would have cried for the my daughter.She is only a child herself,it made me ask where was Gov Palin?Couldnt she have seen the sign of her daughter's actions?I fear now that more and more teenagers will think that being sexually active is ok.

No matter what our children's action will always come to bite us in the ASS!I feel bad for all the mother's out there who have teenage daughters that are pregnant. Who is to blame? the PARENTS,SOCIETY,MEDIA OR HOLLYWOOD?

I HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE HER,BUT AS A WOMAN RUNNING FOR VICE PRESIDENT I WOULD THINK TWICE ABOUT VOTING FOR HER.

LOOSING MY MIND!

Last night i distinctly remember laying down with my husband.For the past days i have been camping on my daughters floor in her room. Hey,my husband and I didnt fight if thats what your thinking.The baby wasnt feeling good lately and it was better for me to stay in her room so when she wakes up all i have to do is stand by her crib and pat her or just give her her pacifier.

With that explained,I was so exhausted and sleepy,i just zonked off.The next thing i now i was woken up by this pitter patter of feet crawling on the hardwood floor. It was by 10 month old baby girl..She was crawling out the door going to our room.The first thing i said was "OH MY GOD!" and kept repeating it over and over again. Luckily my husband jumped out of bed and went to the baby thinking that i was still asleep on the floor..As soon as the baby saw him,she did a u turn and crawl right back in the room. i just scooped her up and just said :

" Langga(beloved)how did you open the door.?"

" my god honey,i cant remember how i got here.good thing you woke up "

It was still my mother's instinct that woke me up when i heard her crawling out the door. the morning before that i was telling my mother in law that we have to get gates around the house specially for upstairs in case i fell asleep and the door is open. But, still i felt guilty and in shock. I never remembered getting up and getting the baby out of her crib to lay her down on the floor next to me.. And when i do,i always always make sure i reallyl close the door.I kept thinking and trying to remember how i got in her room and how come i couldnt remember.I was never like this..

But last night,was and is still a mystery to me.

MOVIE DATE & TAG

March 24,2008 was our 1st date out since the baby was born. I was so giddy with excitement and guilt at the same time.Guilt for leaving my baby with my mom in law. I have been wanting to go to the movies ever since i got here in the US. I just wanted to see the movie houses and compare it sa pinas. I got dressed up in this short short miniskirt jeans that i just bought,black long sleeved shirt and my boots. Too bad i was not able to take a picture coz we were in a hurry. After making sure that mum has everything for the baby i gave my baby a kiss and told her to be good for Grandma.

We chose to see a horror movie "SHUTTER" . There were only 6 older people in the movies house including Ralph and myself.Most were teenagers. As we were waiting for the movie to start ralph and I had a talk about what our girls would do if they were already old enough to date and go out. Ralph said "honey,we really are getting older coz were here in the movie house but were talking about the kids". And by the way going to the movies is expensive.I couldnt help but think about how much we spent.Ralph kept saying "honey relax this is our date". but to cut the story short i had fun holding my husbands hand and sqeezing his fingers when it was too scary for me.i had to cover my eyes but i was still peeking between my fingers,hehehehe...

After the movies i went to the bathroom. As i was going to pee i felt something. It was the tag on my skirt,hehehehe..i had forgotten to take of the tag!!!!!! It was so so so funny.as soon as i got out i told ralph i had to tell him something..we ran out to the car and as soon as i got in i burst in laughter i was almost hysterical...my face was all red and tears were streaming down my face when i told him i forgot to take off the tag on my skirt,hehehehehe...

My first date out with my husband turned out great!!!!!

HELLO????

For the past weeks my extended absence greeting on my voicemail is like this :

hello?................................. gotcha! leave a msg!

I thought it would be funny. My first victim was my husband,lol. He came home one day and said:

"could you please change your greeting, everytime i call and i hear you say hello i really thought you were answering your fone and i start talking only to hear you say gotcha,leave a msg. It gets me all the time honey!"

So everytime i answer my phone they pause and wait until i say something,lol. One of my friend said my greeting is very tricky.

what's your greeting on your phone?

BABY MEOW MEOW!

Halloween is just lurking around the corner,waiting to pounce on all the little girls and boys who love to dress up one day of the year. They can be anybody they want and not have to worry about looking like a dork or looking weird..In fact, the weirder your costume or outfit is the more you fit right in. Last year i got my first glimpse of the cute boys and girls that braved the chilly night to go trick or treating be it with a parent ,sibling,relative or a friend. From the weirdest of weird, the cutest of cute and tiniest little darlings. Hearing the words " TRICK OR TREAT" and holding up little pumpkin basket or bags for the goodies to be dropped.My stepdaughter unfortunately was not able to celebrate her Halloween with us for it was her mom's turn. And my daughter was barely a month old then.

This year both my little girls will be going trick or treating together for the first time. We have not decided on what big sister will go as.For baby sister we may have a winner already. About 4 months ago we went on a garage sale in our neighbourhood and saw this black cat costume that would look cute on my daughter. Today was the day of reckoning if it will fit her. I was afraid it was going to be big on her for she is just a tiny little thing,i fondly call my firstborn my little midget. Much to our surprise it fit her like a glove. She looked so adorable and just so cute.

The BLACK BABY MEOW MEOW!

Now you tell me,does she not put a smile on your face?

RUN OUT OF HAIRSPRAY?

Way back when teased hair bangs was all the rave my cousin found some daily stuff that actually works.like,sometimes more than a hairspray.Those were the days were a lot of girls teased there hair so much on both sides of the head to have what i call the cobra look or have the tall fringe bangs look that adds height,lol.

These were some of the things WE USED:

BEER (san miguel)
TOOTHPASTE (any brand)
EGG WHITE
SNOWBEAR (candy)

Weird stuff but hey they worked back then,lol....

BABY ON ME

Carrying around 20 pounds is not an easy feat mind you.Having a wriggling, 20 pound 10 month old baby on your front or back! whew! what a task!

After we got Big sister off to school i left her in the family room all alone and play with her toys.I had to scramble around to get things done before she starts to cry and want me. She was fine and playing with her toys until!!!!

She heard daddy's keys opening the door. Started pulling herself up against the ottoman and waited for her daddy to show up..As soon as she saw a glimpse of her daddy she was jumping up and down as much as her fat little legs would let her and had a big tootless grin on her silly face. Daddy of course picked her up and put her down again coz he had to change. Then the crying and wailling started. I didnt get to finish what i was doing. i took out the baby carrier and put her in it.

She looked like she is having fun while mama did things around the house. And of course im going to feel the pain tonight but hey, if it means seeing that toothless gooffy smile? Id do anything for her!!!

TEENS AND SEX

As a mother you wonder how my girls are going to grow up in this corrupt world of us right now. It boogles my mind when i read in the magazines and papers and see it on the new how young boys and girls are having sexual intercourse. Its hard for me to grasp the reality of it and the harsh truth of what is really happening. I know its happening but i cannot for some reason understand why...

• why are this young girls and boys doing?
• what gave them this idea about SEX?
• what does a teenager know about SEX?
• where are the parents?
• What are we doing about it?

Ralph niece is 16 yrs old,she spent a weeks with us again.She is an intelligent young lady and i have been talking to her about SEX,BOYS and LIFE. I have been encouraging her to stay strong and stand by her values and not get suaded by other girls that are doing things they are not suppose to do. Telling her to wait for the right guy and to just enjoy bieng a teenager and not jump along in the band wagon of TEENAGERS BIENG SEXUALLY ACTIVE. She went home and sent me a txt message last night saying that one of her friends is pregnant!!! do you want to know how old this girl is?she is just 14 yrs old! for crying out loud,what is wrong with this girls~!!!!Now,my niece txt me again today to tell me that the young girl is going to get rid of the baby.Her parents doesnt know what she has been doing.

I am pro life and i am not in favor or abortion at all! its out of the question unless it is for health reason.These young girls dont know,they think they are so cool bieng sexually active but balks at the thought of having a baby and the shame it will bring to them and how it will destroy there lives. Dont they know the moment they have an abortion they have already committed the most haneous of crime? The murder of an innocent child.!It is worse than anything.

Some survery conducted the year 2000 :

• By the time students are in the ninth grade, 34% have had sexual intercourse. That rises to 60% by 12th grade.
• Of those surveyed in 2000, 56% said they first had sex at their family's home or at the home of their partner's family.
  Another 12% had their first sex at a friend's house; 9% at a teen's own home; 4% in a truck or car; 3% at a park or other outdoor place and 3% at a hotel or motel. Ten percent said someplace else.

When i read this it was like getting hit on the head. This was conducted 8 yrs ago,what about now?! What is happening to us?!

Parents,we need to wake up!!!!!! Take a good look around and take off the web of fog around our eyes and mind...We need to talk to our kids and lay out the cards about the pro's and con's of bieng sexually active. We need to stop and really listen to what is happening around us.. I am so scared shitless about my girls growing up in our society today.I dread the day they will reach puberty. I know i cannot run my girsl lives and i cannot protect them and shield them from what is happening around us,but this i promise myself:

I will be there for you my little girls and i will talk to you openly about these things the way my mum did to me. I will try my hardest to raise my girls to respect themselves and to be strong and stand up for what they believe in and to stick to there values. I know my kids are going to fall off the right path but if we the parents are there for them we will be able to pick them right up and help them to the right path once again....

AMONG HER MANY FIRST'S

How do you prepare yourself for the many firsts of your childrens lives? Will you cry or will you burst with laughter?



My step daughter's first day of school was something memorable and something i didnt want to miss. She started kindergarten last wed Aug 20,08 she not only started the first day of school but she went on the school bus for the very first time!At 5 yrs old you get so worried and so hesitant about sending letting her ride the bus where she will be by herself without me or her daddy.



We started the day on a wednesday morning bright and early. Woke up and of course kayla came barreling in baby sister's room to play for a little bit. Didnt even realize that daddy was home and he was still sleeping. After playing for a few minutes Kayla woke up her dad saying :

daddy wake up! time to get ready for school!

Excited as we were i was so tired and still groggy from waking up early. Im not a morning person never was and never will,lol...My pancakes that i previously freezed came into good use as Kayla wanted pancakes.While taking care of Kayla i also had to take care of another mouth,her baby sister Kaitlyn who is getting to be so demanding but so adorable..Breakfast passed without incident as well as brushing the teeth. Time to do her hair.She has very long hair down to her waist,i parted her hair and braided it.She was all pink.

As we walked out the door in the chilly morning my husband and i wondered how she would do going on the bus. Camera was always on hand to make sure i captured the moment. The bus stop was jsut right around the second corner from our house. As soon as we got to the bus stop Kayla meet two other little girls her age but were in different rooms. The other one was Tamara which happens to be our neighbor that kayla talks to thru the fence,hhehe..Kelly was the other little girl.

We the parents were so anxious ,happy yet sad.Finally buss 232 glided to the bus stop and Kayla was so excited and if we didnt tell her to give us a kiss goodbye she would have just gone up the bus and left us standing there. She gave us a quick kiss and a flying kiss for baby sister coz she was so excited to run over to her to give her a proper kiss.Ralph and I were teary eyed. Kayla our little girl is growing up so fast.

Going back home was like doing the walk of doom coz now we were all nervous and worried about how she will react going to school in that fashion. We patiently waited for her arrival at the bus stop again. Our worries were for naught for she had a wonderful time in school and just couldnt stop narrating what they did and how she ate at the cafeteria like a big girl.Letting her go to Pre-K last year helped her to adjust quickly to a full day of school.

I hope her enthusiasm for school will continue....

Daddy,baby sister,grandma and I are so proud of you.

We love you and congratulation for you are a big girl now!!!

BIOPSY

Yesterday i went to the doctors to have a check up on the small growth on my right outer leg. The growth has been growing and it started to hurt a little bit and bothering me. I have had this growth on my leg for about 4 yrs now and it was just ok.when i got here in the US it would fall off and the round growth would get flat but then it would grow back again. I decide to have it checked coz it looked disgusting on my leg and i wanted it gone. I thought it was just going to be a routine check up and i would be sent to a dermatologist so they could check it more thouroughly but no,our family doctor was very curious about the growth coz it didnt look like a wart nor a regular mole..how could i tell her its called a (congo) in my country?i dont even know the english term for it,lol.....she poked and pushed and poked on it again. and then told me and my husband that it has to come off since it will only keep coming back. She explained that the growth will have to be taken out right from the core so it wont come back again.

Ralph asked if she could do it in the clinic and take it out and the doctor sure said yes she can!!..I was horrified,scared and nervous. I was told that there would ba a scar and that it wont hurt when they take it out.and of course they will send the growth to a lab for biopsy.

I was sent to another room and prepped for the removal of the so called growth. I was such a baby and i held my husbands hand and whinned so much...i almost cried when they injected my leg with numbing medication..It really hurt a lot!!! i also had 4 stitches after it was taken out..I am glad it was over but anxious to know if the growth will come back and the result of the biopsy.

As soon as i got home i told everybody in the house who would listen about how it hurt and how many stitches i got and how i was bleeding,lol. I am hurting now and its throbbing a lot. I wanted to take a picture but i forgot my camera..

I anxiously await the result of my BIOPSY.

SHE SAYS

Having 5 yr old around and a 9 month old is pretty interesting and nothing is ever boring..There is something happening or new all the time. My step daughter is at this phase where she constantly asks questions ,making up the weirdest stories and saying the funniest things..

These are her common expression :

ONE TIME = It's like the american pie the movie..When she starts going off into her world and starts spinning her own story she begins her story with this.

I KNOW = everytime you remind her of something or tell her to do this would be her usual reply. and whats funny is even if she doesnt know she will still say this.

WHAT YOU SAY = When she wants you to repeat what you wee saying to her.

IM SICK OR MY BONE IS BROKEN = When she doesnt want to eat and gives you this excuse but when you tell her ok if you dont eat you wont get anything. She then recants whatever she was saying and starts to eat.

Those are just the few words that comes out of a 5 yr olds mouth..

I specially love the way she tries and talk like a big girl and repeat what you say. She tries to say some words but they are never the same...Its pretty hilarious!Now that her baby sister is starting to do stuff she immitates her and tries to teach her to be a big girl like her. Her little sister follows her MANANG ( BIG SISTER) like a puppy dog.

I cant wait for my two girsl to really start communicating and talking. I would love to be a fly on the wall when they talk without any adults around.. Its going to be very interesting what kind of stories they come up with. With a childs mind,nothing is off limits,imagination is boundless and never ending,stories are ever changing,tempers are always tested and love and forgiveness is ever abundant.

Raising a child is hard work but you get a smile everytime they give you hugs and kisses. Its all worth while..

SLEEP

SLEEP

As elusive as you are
my body and mind needs you
i long to feel your misty fog
to cloud my brain
and bring me to your relaxing realm

The mirror knows no lie but truth
i look into but i see no gem
a Zombie like persno stares back instead
its take a split second to realize
it is me im looking

haggard looking face with bloodshot eyes
hooded by exhaustion of today
skin pale as a ghost

If i blink to much ill sleep where im at
be it standing or sitting ,awake i am not
the night use to be my recharching source of life
it has become my enemy coz of light.

i must catch you for sandman has taken you
He has missed my house and left no dust
to cover my eyes to sleep at night
slumber here i come, i must befriend the light
to keep up with life.

In summers time where school is not
i welcome you night in a lovers arm
like a phoenix from ash i will arise
and be the night owl i was once.